Just read Dr. Becky’s take on overcorrection in modern parenting — and couldn’t agree more.
“Feelings matter AND feelings shouldn’t drive the family car.”
That one line says everything.
I’ve seen this exact pattern not just in families, but in startups, teams, and even boardrooms:
A well-intentioned overcorrection, where empathy morphs into instability.
Where honoring emotion turns into avoiding decisions.
Where the desire to be kind becomes the inability to be sturdy.
The Leadership Parallel
In parenting, the impulse to center a child’s feelings entirely is a reaction to generations of ignoring them. It makes sense.
But when feelings start setting the schedule — when “I don’t want to” becomes “then we won’t” — we cross into a different kind of chaos.
Kids need validation, but also structure.
They need to be heard — and held.
Now reread that paragraph and swap in “teams” or “employees.”
Same truth holds.
The Cost of Letting Emotions Drive
In early-stage startups or small companies, there’s often a push to be “human first.” I believe in that. I’ve built my entire ecosystem around it.
But being human first doesn’t mean being directionless or boundaryless.
I’ve seen:
- Teams that won’t ship until everyone feels good about it.
- Leaders who won’t hold performance standards because someone might take it personally.
- Feedback postponed indefinitely in the name of “psychological safety.”
But just like a child feels less safe when they’re secretly in charge, teams can feel the same way.
Structure is safety.
Clarity is care.
Boundaries are kindness.
“You’re a kid who can do hard things.”
That line stuck with me. It’s the kind of script that’s just as useful in parenting as it is in coaching founders, teammates, or yourself.
In a world obsessed with comfort, we need more people who can say:
- “I know this is hard — and you can handle it.”
- “I hear you — and we’re still moving forward.”
- “This sucks — and we’ll get through it together.”
This is the kind of leadership I want to practice.
Sturdy, not rigid.
Empathic, not indulgent.
Human, but still in motion.
So yes, we’ve overcorrected. In parenting. In leadership. In culture at large.
But the way back isn’t a return to coldness — it’s finding the warm, firm middle.
One where we’re allowed to feel deeply — and still show up anyway.
